


Captain America Does, in fact, Swear

by OnyxDay



Series: LANGUAGE! [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Domestic Avengers, Fluff, Mild Language, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-29
Updated: 2014-11-29
Packaged: 2018-02-25 05:21:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2609990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnyxDay/pseuds/OnyxDay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve swears, the Avengers are shocked, Bucky's a little shit, Steve's a bigger shit, lizard people attack Central Park. Business as usual.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Captain America Does, in fact, Swear

Clint Barton yawns as he stumbles into the common space of the building previously known as Stark Tower (currently referred to as the Avengers Tower by all who inhabit it). He blindly holds out a hand, waiting for the obligatory mug of coffee to be shoved into it by Natasha. His fingers curl around the heat and he makes a sound of gratitude in his throat before gulping down a large portion of the hot brown liquid (if you could call it liquid, most days it more closely resembled the sludge one might find at the bottom of the Hudson). He curses at the coffee as it burns his mouth, though he can't really hear himself due to the fact that he hasn't put in his hearing aids in yet. Natasha hands them to him without comment, or maybe she did say something, Clint has no way of knowing right now, he's too tired to look at her. After slipping them in and turning them on he mumbles a quick thanks before consuming the rest of the coffee in his mug.

"Shove over." Someone, Sam, says to Clint, pushing at his shoulder. Clint grumbles and scoots over, Sam collapsing into the freed space immediately. Natasha hands him a Starbucks coffee, knowing that unlike Clint (and a few of the other Avengers) he won't drink the sludge they call coffee. He nods at her in thanks and takes a small sip from his coffee, blowing on it first because unlike Clint, he knows his coffee's going to be hot and doesn't want to burn his mouth first thing in the morning.

"Greetings friends!" Thor booms as he enters the common space. Clint and Sam groan, both of them not having consumed enough coffee yet to be functioning members of society. Sam glances over and relaxes slightly, seeing that at least Thor has finally remembered that it is not socially acceptable to strut around naked, even if it is how he sleeps.

"He's not naked at least." Sam whispers to his friend, who nods and pours himself another mug of coffee from the pot resting on the table. Sam looks around and takes in the presence of not only Clint, Natasha, and Thor, but also Bruce Banner. He hadn't noticed him before because he was curled up on one of the armchairs, still fast asleep. His brow's furrowed deeply and he seems to be curled up almost painfully.

"Thor's found the pop tarts." Clint mumbles to Sam, who glances over at the tall blonde God and sees him cheerfully consuming the treat. This reminds him of another tall blonde, who isn't necessarily a god, but he definitely has the body of one (what, Sam can't look? It's kinda hard to miss).

"Where's Cap?" He asks the group. Thor and Clint both shrug, but Natasha points to the kitchen.

"He's making his breakfast." She tells him. "Says we never get the flavor right."

Sam rolls his eyes at this and shakes his head. "That's 'cause we actually put flavor in it. Don't know how he can stand eating oatmeal without anything added to it." He comments. Natasha shrugs and goes back to eating her pastry.

A moment later they hear a *thump* and a groan, then the Winter Soldier is standing before them, long hair tangled in the worst bed head imaginable, metal arm only just then being locked into place at the shoulder (Tony had rebuilt it so it was detachable (it's also dishwasher safe)).

"Where's Steve?" He asks them, voice still rough from sleep.

"Making oatmeal in the kitchen." Sam replies, nodding over to the door. Bucky mumbles something that might have been a thanks, then disappears into the kitchen.

"BRUCE!" Tony shouts as he stumbles into the common room, dark circles under his eyes and hair practically standing straight up. Bruce rockets awake, eyes wide and frantic for a few seconds before focusing on Tony. He groans and collapses back into his armchair.

"Don't you have any respect for the dead?" Bruce groans, rubbing his hands down his face in exasperation.

"No time, I think I got it figured out, see if we could-"

"FUCK!"

The Avengers froze where they were, Bruce slumped in his chair, Tony gesturing wildly, Nat wiping the edges of her mouth on a napkin, Clint and Sam with their coffee raised to their lips ready to drink, Thor with a pop tart hanging out of his mouth, and slowly turned to where the noise came from.

"Was that-?" Sam starts, pulling his coffee away from his mouth.

"Yeah." Clint replies, pulling his away too.

From the kitchen they hear faint sounds of a scuffle and they go silent again, eager to hear what might come out of the kitchen next. Clint turns up his hearing aids.

"Bucky you little shit!" Is the next expletive that comes out of the kitchen, confirming to all that yes, Captain America does, in fact, swear. It's followed by laughter.

"C'mon Stevie, we both know it was gonna burn anyways."

"You did that on purpose bastard."

"You can't blame your lack of skills in the kitchen on me, ya punk."

"Jerk."

It's silent for a few moments before smoke starts to creep out from under the kitchen door.

"If they've set fire to my kitchen…" Tony mumbles. They all shush him, not wanting to miss a single thing that comes out of that kitchen.

"SHIT! Bucky I thought I told you to turn off the stove!"

"You said you were gonna turn off the stove punk!"

"No I said- Forget it! JARVIS, smoke vents!"

There's a whirring noise then the two super soldiers exit the kitchen, the brunet still laughing while the blond just scowls.

"It's not funny Buck. We could've burned the kitchen down." Steve tells his friend, punching his arm. This only causes Bucky to laugh harder.

"Re-remem-remember the time you- you tried to make s-s-sausages that one time, and- and you burned them to a crisp?" Bucky somehow manages to get out between bouts of laughter. Steve scowls harder.

"Yeah, and if I remember correctly, that was your fault too." Steve tells him, crossing his arms in front of him. Bucky turns to him with a mischievous smirk playing at the edges of his lips.

"Well yeah, I ain't sayin' it wasn't, 'm just sayin' you seemed to enjoy it 'til the sausage started burnin'. Especially that thing I did where I-" Steve claps a hand over Bucky's mouth and turns as red as the stripes on his shield, finally noticing the other Avengers gathered around and paying rapt attention to them.

"Bucky shut the hell up and stop licking my hand." Steve growls, letting go of Bucky's face.

"You didn't seem to have a problem with it last night." Bucky replies as soon as he's free to speak. If possible, Steve turns an even darker shade of red.

"You have a grave y'know. I'm sure no one would notice if it suddenly had a body in it." Steve threatens. Bucky just grins at him.

"Nah, you wouldn't do that. You like me too much." Bucky responds immediately.

"You keep acting like an ass, and I might not like you as much as you think I do." Steve throws back, adding in a small glare.

Tony makes a choking noise and the two men out of time turn to look at him.

"Why is Captain America cursing? Doesn't that go against the laws of nature or something?" He exclaims, apparently unable to keep it in any longer.

Bucky and Steve roll their eyes in unison, giving him the same 'not impressed with you' look.

"We were in the army y'know. Between the two of us, we probably know how to curse in more languages than everyone here. Except maybe Natasha." Steve tells them, nodding to Nat in respect. She shrugs and concedes the point.

"Hell, you should'a heard the mouth on this guy before the war. The things that would come out of his small body. The little shit." Bucky adds, shaking his head at the man beside him.

"Like you were any better. Most of the curses I know are because you taught me them." Steve reminds him. "Asshat."

"Dum Dum taught you that one!" Bucky tells him, pointing a finger at him. "I taught you the basics, then you started to get creative. The things he could come up with." Bucky shakes his head, a fond smile on his face.

"No, he's supposed to be innocent and blush when someone curses!" Tony insists, wide eyed and shaking his head.

"Y'know Stark, I'm surprised you don't know this. Your dad certainly did." Bucky responds back. A wry grin finds its way on his face and Steve's goes white. "Found out the hard way too, poor guy. You shoulda seen his face when he came into Steve's tent and saw me pounding-"

"BUCKY!" Steve slams his hand over Bucky's mouth again, flushing just as furiously as he was before. "I'm starting to get why Hydra kept you in a muzzle." He mumbles quietly to himself.

"Brain bleach, I need brain bleach. Bruce, have we developed that yet?" Tony mutters.

The other scientist shakes his head sadly. "Sorry Tony, but no."

Tony snaps his fingers at the air. "JARVIS, add it to the list. Top priority. I refuse to let myself live with that knowledge floating around in my brain." Tony shudders.

"Does anyone else want to know why we're just now learning about Cap's swearing?" Clint speaks up, raising his hand slightly. Sam nods his head in agreesment. Natasha mutters something about them being idiots, but otherwise seems to agree with Clint.

Bucky gets a dangerous glint in his eyes and Steve feels his stomach drop.

"Well, lets just say its a good thing Tony sound-proofed the building, otherwise you would be hearing a lot more than just a couple curses." Bucky winks at them and everyone except Thor and Natasha blushes. Steve burries his face in his hands and groans.

"Bucky, just because it's legal to talk about our relationship, doesn't mean you have to tell them everything about our relationship." Steve reminds him once he's lifted his head away from his hands. Bucky just smirks at him.

"Yeah, but that's not nearly as fun. If I did that, I wouldn't get to see that cute blush of yours." Bucky winks. Steve groans and punches his arm.

"You seem to be forgetting that I know just as much about you as you know about me, Barnes." Steve reminds him, causing Bucky to laugh.

"What could you possibly have that could embarrass me?" Bucky replies. Clint and Sam groan and shake their heads at him. "What?"

"You just jinxed yourself. So bad." Clint answers, shaking his head still. Sam nods in agreement. Steve just grins.

"You remember that time I came home from painting a sign at McAllister's store? And you and Janice Albritton-"

"SHUT UP!" Bucky practically screeches, throwing himself at Steve and causing them both to fall to the floor.

"-and she had you in her-"

"Steve I swear to God-"

"-and you grabbed the first thing you could-"

"Steve if you say one more word-"

"-but it was her other set of-"

"I WON'T DO THAT THING YOU LIKE ANYMORE IF YOU TELL ONE MORE WORD OF THAT SENTANCE!" Bucky yells, which finally gets Steve to stop talking. Clint, Sam, Natasha, and Bruce all lean over the back of the couch to look at the two men. Bucky is straddling Steve's waist, pinning down the blond's arms and glaring at him, though the effect is slightly lost due to the fact that Bucky currently looks like a strawberry. Steve is looking up at him with the most shocked and offended look someone being pinned down by the man they love can have.

"Sirs, I hate to interupt, but it seems that an emergency has just arisen." JARVIS, the beautiful AI that he is, call from the ceiling. Several of the Avengers let out matching "oh thank God"s at the interruption.

"What's the sitch?" Tony asks his AI, eager to distract himself until he can develop the brain beach.

"There appears to be an army of lizard/human hybrids attacking Central Park. The authorities are, as usual, failing in their attempts to stop it." The AI responds.

The Avengers (including Bucky) all retreat to their rooms to suit up, and soon they're all on their way to Central Park.

"Hey Buck." Steve's voice sounds through the comm-link. "Remember that one time you tried to pick up a dame in Central Park and she ended up being-"

"STEVE! People's lives are at risk, this is not the time to bring up THE ONE TIME I brought home a transvestite by mistake!" Bucky responds, the sound of a metal arm hitting scales in the background.

"YOU BROUGHT HOME A TRANSVESTITE?!" Tony screeches at them. Steve just laughs.


End file.
